Can I get the title too?

Thank you for your brilliant idea!!!

"I once held the (LRT) doors open so tat a nenek could safely exit the LRT in Masjid Jamek. Can I get TUN instead of Datuk?" Najib-pengguna setia LRT


"Gue dari Surabaya...tahun 97, gue datang Kuala Lumpo. Tuan ngak tahu, gue-la yang mengusahakan pembinaan KLCC pada masa tu. Sebagai pembancuh konkrit. Waduuh, gue pun berjasa sama Meleysia, boleh dapatin Datuk Seri ngak?" Jonni Santoso-pakar pembancuh simen.


"Dei, sayya itu kerja sama malam jugga. Tido pun tarak, nanti bos marah. Ini kondo mesti kena jaga punya...kalo anjing menyalak, mesti kena kasi diam jugga. Datuk? Sayya boleh apply ka?" Suleiman-pak guard sebuah kondo mewah di Mont Kiara


Last saturday 18 July
ManUtd vs Malaysia XI
Amri Yahya managed to score 2 goals
against one of the best team in Europe

...and anywhere, even our Ministers
said that Malaysian football is on the brink of renaissance
and believes Malaysian football is on the
road to recovery.

And now there is even a movement to bestow
Amri Yahya the Datukship for his brilliant performance
That is just silly, sad and lame.

Lame...lame
With all due respect
Yes he scored two goals
But a pat for well-done effort by Amri is sufficient
Leave it at that
No need for datukship laaa

Please please lets not get carried away
I think the guys who suggested this idea
Should be given TUN titles for
their well-thought effort

Malaysia boleh. Can you, me and everybody get the Datukship too?
Mohon pemimpin menjaga martabat negara
Jangan malukan darjat Kesultanan di Malaysia.

Aku cuba menjadik cool

Apa itu cool
Adakah cool itu bermaksud

- Melawat Pavilion ngan DSLR-kit-lens, dan mensnap gamba pakai automod

- Memakai baju v-neck brand Topman seperti kegilaan dak2 remaja...Topman atau Topman Pasar Malam, itu yang kita tak tau...

- Mengendeng beg LV made in Bandung...sedangkan yang ori tu regenya sama mahal ngan satu MacBook

- Join fitness first tapi pegi bedal nasik lemak sambal kerang as breakfast...gym pun pegi skalik sbulan...for the sake of ada 'membership'

- Ada bf/gf ntuk mengelak daripada di-cop sebagai LOSER...LOSER-kah anda jika anda single? Dont think so.

- Beli handphone sentuhan skrin cam iPhone 3Gs, sebab semua membe da ada...sedangkan 3310 tu still boleh pakai even da 3 kali jatuh dalam air

- Sentiasa menjadik yang pertama menonton wayang paling latest kat Malaysia..."woi best gile aku tengok transfomer semalam...ramai gile orang Q nak beli tiket...seb baik aku dapat seat...2 row dari depan, tapi takpe at least aku da dapat tengok da...korang lum tengok ke? loserrr"

- Pergi wedding membe semata-mata nak tayang GF/BF/kreta baru..."eh kau datang ngan sapa? Ngan membe rumah, gile loser"

- Pergi Urbanscape dan bercakap pasal seni...padahal masa skolah rendah salu ponteng klas pendidikan seni

- Pakai kasut ONITSUKA...dan pabila anda ke bukit bintang, dalam 5 orang, konpom sorang ada pakai kasut tu

- Tapau kopi starbucks, pastuh pegang kopi pada aras muka sambil jalan-jalan, supaya semua orang tahu "woi aku minum starbucks"

- Dak2 baya aku pakai baju berkolar & suar slack pastuh siap tuck-in laei, semata-mata sebab da kawen...personally, pada aku, itu lame dowh



Apa-apa pun cool itu adalah persepsi terlampau peribadi...takyah jadik cool pun takpe kot, jadik diri sendiri sudahhhh.

I want to be - Jason Bourne just myself

Bawak telephoto lens ni pi Pavilion baru cool...

Nak cool? Pegi LV beli plastik sampah camgini

Pemandangan biasa di bukit bintang...banyak gile kasut onitsuka

Jadikla rakyat malaysia yang sehat dengan bermain badminton...erkkk macam Datin Rosmah Mansor

Starbucks. before.

Happy Birthday Chan

Pause to reflect - Thank you Allah

Thank you Allah, for giving me the strength that I have today.
Thank you Allah, for blessing me with people whom I love - mak ayah, family, friends, you all!!!
Thank you Allah,for choosing me to be tested upon
Thank you Allah, for giving me a very productive years

25th July is Chan's birthday and today, he turns 25.

Thank you mak & ayah for being there - always
I can’t repay the lessons that you taught when I was small.
I can’t return encouragement and loving words of praise.
In quite the way you did for me Through all my childhood days - even now.
But there is one gift that I can give, It’s all the love you’ve earned.
For love is what you always taught... And love is what I learned.
Mak ayah, sorry i know that I should go back to rumah more often
But you never complain...
Oh Allah, please bless my parents. Amin.

Thank you cikgu-cikgu
No one likes going to school
Or following all the rules
But you all made it enjoyable and fun
To the point that I dreaded it being over and done

Thank you, friends, for all the things
That mean so much to me
For concern and understanding
And just for being you.

Special mention

1. Rimbabara...bila nak wat trip g Krabi ni woit. Dah lama tak wat great escapade ni!!!
2. Friends from SKPJ, SMSD, UTP...I love you all.
3. Korang semua yang kenal aku...tak kira la kenal as Hafiz/Apis/Apih/Chan/ShinChan etc...aku sayang korang semua. muahsssss.

This song is dedicated to the one I love - You. Yes you.



Terkenang, Terbayang,
Tak dapat aku lupakan,
Tapi sayang semuanya tinggal kenangan.

Teman ku, kasihku,
Ku ingin seperti dulu,
Bersama menjelajah dunia.

Kekuatan, kebanggaan,
Bebas dan terus berjalan,
Kenangan tak mungkin ku lupakan.

Aku harap teman semua
Dapat bersama semula
Perjuangan kita masih belum pudah

Kemananya
Teman setia
Perjuangan...
Ku ingin kau semua...
Bersama semula...

Why Malaysian need to learn English

Semalam masa aku balik keja
Aku tenampak satu iklan kat pokok
Sekali tengok cam iklan plumber offer service baiki jamban
Tiba-tiba aku brenti menapak
WTH
Betul ke apa yang aku duk baca ni

MENCARI CALON MENANTU
......doktor...30 tahun....
wanita...fasih berbahasa Inggeris

Gosh...doktor umo 30 tahun
Seorang professional, bujang
Tepaksa mintak tolong mak carikan jodoh?
Adekah...

Aku pun duk tepikir la, maybe dia ni:
1-Penah lentok jiwang sama itu awek, tapi last-last awek tu blah, kawen ngan orang len. So dia ni cam jiwa kacau, malas dah nak pikir pasal awek... ATAU

2-Memang dia ni sebuk gile...yela Doc la katakan. Bedah sana, cucuk sini. "Dating? Apetu...paracetamol ke?". ATAU

3-Dia ni memang pemalu. Pantang dengar sore awek je, mesti ketaq lutuk. Muka merah padam, kena kancing gigi. ATAU

4-Awek yang dia pilih sebelum ni semua mak dia reject..."ape klas kau ni nak. Bini tak reti skeping London"

5-Dia da berubah axis. Woi apa aku ngarut ni.

Pape pun, aku rasa mak dia ni bagus. Ikhtiarkan jodoh untuk anak dia...

p/s: tu syarat nak jadik menantu, ke syarat nak cari pekerja baru Pegawai Tadbir Am...muahahaha. Sorry makcik saya gurau je.

Sebab apa aku respect Lisa Surihani

Sebab dia cun ManUtd Fan
Sapa yang sokong ManUtd
Memang aku kan respect la
Hmm the rumours are true
Sapa nyokong ManUtd dia memang cool
Lisa Surihani cool
So aku pun memang cool la eik
Camgitu la kot lebeyh kurangnya
Muahahaha
Haahhahahahaha

United set for Malaysia rematch

Due to bombings in Indonesia
United have cancelled their trip to Indonesia
...and decided to stay on in Boleh-land
...and also did not opt to play Indonesia in KL
hmm, due to time constraint.

So Hari Raya Comes Early for ManUtd fans in Malaysia
2 matches against national team
Apo laei kau nak haaa, rezeki tu rezeki.

Ok suka sangat
Sebab ManUtd tanak men lawan Indonesia kat KL
Sebab kalo tak mende ni akan tejadi...

Stadium Bukit Jalil
80 ribu konpom penuh ngan Indon2
Match start kul 8.45pm
Mesti diorang keja half day-nya sebab nakg awal ke stadium
Boleh lumpuh dowh KL kalo camni
Sebab semua tempat penuh ngan pekeja Indon
LRT, supermarket, public toilet, kedai makan, pasar sayur, gerai buah
Bank (pak guard), carwash, construction site
Mana-mana la, semua tempat ada kaitan ngan Indon
Alamak tak bejalan la KL esok kalo diorang amek half day

Ok
Sure it is just a friendly match
and yes for sure ManUtd will not be firing all cylinders
But come on Malaysia
Earn your respect
(The respect that had been blown away - by C4, C4 sape, itu yang kita tak pasti)


Malaysia Boleh

Tapi saya laki wakkk

Owh my gosh...

Kisah benar yang belaku kat membe aku (bukan aku okeehhh)

Tempat Kejadian : Tagged.com
Masa Kejadian : Days ago

Bayangkan tetiba korang duk usha sorang awek kat Tagged.com...awek ni punyale cun, putih melepak, gambar profile pulak ala-ala Lisa Surihani, perghhhhh...Dan korang punyala tak tahan, yelaahhh dah awek tu cun gile dowh, pegila tekan button MESSAGE HER.

(Ginile lebih kurang ape yang membe aku alami)

Membe aku: Hai wak...lawa profile pic. Awak ni model ke? Awak seswaii sangat jadik model tauuu
Awek Taggged: Hyeiii u. TQ la sebab add saya eik. Owh really...blushing I tau u cakap cam gitu. ahaks gedix!!!
MA: Tul awak lawa cam model...jomla kita kelua minum nak...g makan nasik goreng kambing ke, awak tak lapa ke?
AT: Hmm menarek gak tuu...Wak, saya nak kasek tau satu hal boleyh tak?
MA: Owh cakap la. Pa dia? Awak nak ajak membe wak yang len ke?
AT: Hmm...ala cam mana eik...segan la...
MA: Cakap jeee. Awak nak ajak g tengok wayang ke?
AT: Bukannnn...sebenarnya wak, saya ni LAKI tau.
MA: ....


Moral of the story - jangan pecaya kat profile pic, sebab gamba tu diambil dari sudut yang menampakkan ilusi optik.


P/S: Seminggu membe aku demam.

Pre Mature Ejaculation is good...

Hungry cat...

A waitress walks up to one of her tables in a New York City restaurant and notices that the three Japanese businessmen seated there are furiously masturbating.

She yells, "What the hell do you guys think you are doing?"

One of the Japanese men explains, "Can't you see? We are all velly velly hungry."

The waitress asks, "So, how is whacking-off in the middle of the restaurant going to help that situation?

One of the other Japanese men replies,

"The menu say, First Come, First Served!"


Moral of the story - sometime, PME is good. Words.

Cinta Internet

Aku ada sorang membe
Baru je kawen bulan lepas
Tapi aku takde la rapat sangat ngan dia
Kenal gitu-gitu je

Ok aku bukan nak cite pasal dia
Tapi cam mana dia kenal ngan wife dia skrg

Rumours dari membe-membe aku yang len
Cakap diorang kenal kat TAGGED
Ala website sort of friendster facebook tu
Tapi TAGGED ni macam banyak gamba
Kalo browse tru page orang len
Kan nampak gamba
So kalo tengok gamba awek/balak yang berkenan
Korang click la "Are You Interested"
Sounds Familiar?

Ok-ok berbalik kat membe aku ni
Dia ngan wife dia kenal & rapat tru TAGGED
Agak-agaknya nanti kalo da ada anak
Anak dia mesti tanya camna diorang kenal
Dialog dia mesti lebeih kurang camgini:


Anak - Cam mana ayah & mak leyh kenal eik?
Ayah - Hmm, dulu ayah suke men TAGGED ngan mak...Start dari situ kami chatting
Anak - Owh, schweettt sangat. Apa ayat first ayah kasik kat mak?
Ayah - "ASL plizzzz"

Sekian sahaja imaginasi untuk hari ini.

p/s: Mak dia mesti balas cam - "19, f, Semenyih".
Watever la.

...and why American (& Malaysian) need to learn English

...What if your mother gave you a 'gay name'...Say in Bahasa, it might be something like, 'Anas Pondan or Saiful Bapuk' (Nama rekaan semata-mata)...and it is officially appeared on your so-called highly sophisticated MyCard. (Kalo femes sangat cam jadik artis etc, nama tu appear tiap-tiap ari dalam paper).

L&G, introducing Tyson Gay!!!

Tyson Gay (born August 9, 1982) is an American track and field sprinter. His
primary events are the 100 meters and 200 meters. His personal bests establish
him as third fastest athlete in the history of the 100 and 200 meter races, with
times of 9.77 (the American record) and 19.58 seconds respectively.

Seb baik Mak dia tak pakai guna nama 'Tyson Homosexual', Kalo tak mesti berita dia cam gini kot.

Tyson Homosexual was a blur in blue, sprinting 100 meters faster than anyone ever has. Drummond noticed Homosexual was bringing his feet too high behind his back with each stride, and they worked to correct that. Clearly, it’s paying off. After the race, Homosexual and Dix looked at each other and slapped palms, then hugged.

Do you think American need to learn English?

Mathematics and Science to be taught in BM, vernacular languages...

"The Cabinet decided on Wednesday that Mathematics and Science will be taught in Bahasa Malaysia and vernacular languages in stages from 2012 onwards. Deputy Prime Minister Tan Sri Muhyiddin Yassin, who announced this, however, said more emphasis would be placed on learning English."

Why do we need to Learn English?

If you are working in the oil & gas industry, just imagine if you have to use 'Bahasa':

*Pig - babi
Pig launcher - pelancar babi
Pig receiver - penerima babi
Wellhead - kepala perigi
Subsea - separa laut
Deepwater - laut dalam (ok this is cool and acceptable)
Shallow water - laut cetek
Drilling - Penggerudian
Flow Assurance - Jaminan kebolehaliran
First Oil - Minyak Pertama
Well Testing - Ujian telaga
Subsurface - separa permukaan
Reservoir - takungan
Corrosion Engineer - jurutera pengaratan
** Wet Xmas Tree - Pokok Krismas Basah
Enhance Oil Recovery - Pembaikan Perolehan Minyak
*** Jacket - Jaket SEED
**** Topside - Bahagian Atas

Ok-ok I'm lame, not funny ok :p
Minta ampun kepada DBP. Saya cuma bergurau. Saya berharap adik-adik kita semua rajin-rajin belajar Bahasa Inggeris. Sekian.

PIG

* PIG - Pipeline inspection gauge, for internal cleaning & inspection of pipelines

Pokok Krismas Basah

** Wet Xmas Tree - Hydrocarbon Production Device, to create barrier between reservoir and seabed

*** Jacket - Kaki Platform (rujuk gamba atas skali)

**** Topside - Bahagian atas platform yang kelihatan (rujuk gamba atas skali)

I have to give up watching football. Live.

BELIEVE!!!

Dua tiga bulan ni aku asyik pening
Walopon aku tdo cukup minum air banyak
Tapi time pukol 4 petang je setiap ari
Aku pening & ngantuk gile

Pukol 5 aku kan g gym
Workout, pastu masuk sauna,
Yes sauna, i like ahaks
Ilang la sekejap pening tu
Tapi time balik rumah je
Pening laei
Aduuh

Kebetulan aku ada usha Mastika
Pow membe aku punya
Dan aku terjumpa satu iklan pasal rumah bekam (bukan rumah urut ok)
"Tidak perlu cukur rambut"
Hmm biasanya kalo nak bekam kat kepala kena cukor rambut
Tapi kat tempat ni takyah

So Ahad lepas aku pegila dengan housemate aku - Irman
Wat appointment pukol 11.30 pagi

Doc Bekam: Adik apa saket?
Apis Chan: Saya saluu pening pale la bang petang-petang
DB: Ada migraine ke?
AC: Hmm takde rasanya...tido cukop, air minum banyak
DB: Tido pukol brapa?
AC: Tido lewat bang, kul 12...kekadang bangun awal pagi tengok bola. Tapi kalo nak nengok bola saye tido awal la, pas maghrib gitu
DB: Selalu berembun?
AC: Kekadang kelua ngan membe g mapley, borak-borak.
DB: Owh ni kes tido lewat ni...selalu tido lewat. Walopon adik ganti balik tido tu, tapi body clock adik da tak betul. Ada minum ais?
AC: Ada gak kekadang...
DB: Ok pasni kurangkan ais...bola pepagi tu kalo boleh takyah la nengok, diorang menang dapat duit, kita nengok dapat penyakit...

Pas sejam sesi berbekam
Klua angin & darah kotor
Aku rasa - high gile
Hilang dowh rasa pening pale
Rasa lega gileee
Alhamdulillah.

Balik rumah
Bila aku pikir balik brader tu cakap
Betul gak dia kata
Toksah la nengok bola pepagi

Fakta cepat - ManUtd Live Matches shown on TV: 65 Matches per season
Maknanya konpom aku akan tido lewat 60 malam
Tu untuk satu season...
Dan aku start layan semua match ManUtd dari zaman UTP
Kirenya dah 5 tahun lebeyh konpom dalam setahun aku tido 60 malam lewat sebab - BOLA

Tu belum campur lagi tido lewat sebab klua lepak-lepak gi Mapley, Karoke, Studi dengan rajennya (ok-ok aku pun nak tegelak ngan alasan ni, demm), Chatting etc.

Kire mudah, maybe aku tido lewat untuk 350 malam dalam setahun...
Wow...
Patut la aku pening pale...

Ok lanie da pukol 10 malam...aku nakg tido dah...
Walopon aku tak layan match ManUtd pasnie, tapi I am still a Red Devil.

I have been a Manchester United fan all my life, with United in my veins...Glory Glory Man Utd.

Panic? Nope.

Old Trafford...one of the most astonishing places to visit in the UK.

Let us not panic; let us not get frustrated either...

The departure of Tevez and the imminent farewell to Ronaldo have made many ManUtd fans hit the panic button too soon. Football forums are filled with suggestions on whom to sign, at what price and there are quite a few with expressions bordering on total frustration at the seemingly cool official response to the situation and the apparent inactivity of the club in the transfer market. I think we should take a closer look and appreciate the bigger picture which will help us put the perspective properly in place.

This is a well travelled road

We have travelled this road many times in the past.Recently on the newspaper main page we saw how the present situation is similar to that of 1995, when Mark Hughes and Paul Ince departed us. Closer still, when David Beckham moved, the same question was raised in huge banners, who will wear the #7 shirt now? Perhaps much more impact was when Roy Keane left us, nobody expected that gap will get filled and perhaps it is true that even now we miss him in the midfield. Anybody privileged to watch the Juventus game would have sincerely wished to have his presence at Rome (yes we lost to Barca, but nobody died) this year. But then, the team is much more than the individuals and it moves on. To the question debated by one of the leading London newspapers, where does Manchester United go from here, there is only one answer. To the same place where it went when all the previous big names departed, to the top of the Premier League table and the finals of the Champions League, where else? Despite the departure of the high profile players, did we not emerge form the shadows of the invisibles at Arsenal and the money power at Chelsea to become Champions of England, Champions of Europe and Champions of the world?

Believe in Sir Alex

If at all there is somebody in this whole world on whom we can blindly keep our faith, it is Sir Alex. It is utterly futile to imagine that the situation we are in today surprised him and would not have been anticipated by him. He certainly can not go public with his ideas, not even to the fans, till what ever being planned is finalised and are in place. Years of extremely productive experience and being one of the most successful serving football managers, the situation demands that we believe and keep our faith in him. Let us not for a moment forget that a teenager with white streaks of hair, holding his mother's hand crossing the street in Manchester, was also brought to this club by him, groomed by him and show cased to the whole world as the best in the world by him. There is a process, an efficiently working time tested system, by which, not just during the transfer window but during the full season, probable targets are assessed, evaluated and valued. The results will appear in time. May be it is even better to avoid the currently inflated market situation caused by the return of the Galactico era.

Take a re look at our team

It will do a world of good if we remember the team which played the FA Cup Semi, the team which could not be beaten by the full strength Everton during the 120 minutes. It is also worthwhile to remember that match in which we recorded one of our strongest performances of the season, against Stoke City in November, there was Evans, Darren Gibson, Daniel Welbeck and towards the end even Manucho on the pitch. All these players along with Rafael, Fabio, Possebon, and that promising star Macheda are all going to improve with every match they play. The future is as bright as it could be. The midfield which got us four trophies last year and took us to the finals of Champions League and Semis of the FA Cup, just can not become bad just in one game. The awesome defense which piloted our success journey and attacking options of Rooney, Barbatov, Macheda and Welbeck are still in tact along with Park and Nani on the wings. With every departure, the club has managed to alter the playing styles, formation etc, if necessary, to suit the capabilities of the players we have, resulting in our continued success.

There are no instant and ready made solutions

Ronaldo is a very rare package. There is no body else like him. So debates of a direct replacement is out of place. When Ronaldo played, he scored. When he is not there somebody else will step in. We have quality players in all positions and goals can come from all over the pitch. This club has never found it difficult to field a team that produced goals.

The policy to catch them young

The policy of getting the players in their formative years and grooming them to become world class professionals is our established policy for quite some time now. From the class of '92 to the Rooneys and Ronaldos, the system has worked perfectly and it will not be a great surprise if this summer's arrival is also similar to the earlier seasons when we got the D'Silva twins or the Andersons and Nanis.

There is no reason to panic; there is absolutely no need to be frustrated. I have been a Manchester United fan all my life, with United in my veins...Glory Glory Man Utd.

RM1 juta tiada nilai di Eropah...abah kau

...makcik kayo!!!

Aku google & tejumpa satu artikel pasal ni:-

"Kerajaan hari ini membuat pengakuan telah memperuntukkan RM1 juta untuk bekas pengurus Formula 1 Ferrari, Datuk Seri Jean Todt sebagai duta Tourism Malaysia selama dua tahun. Demikian dinyatakan oleh menteri Pelancungan Datuk Seri Ng Yen Yen di Dewan Rakyat hari ini menjawab soalan Ahli Parlimen Gombak yang juga Naib Presiden PKR, Azmin Ali. Azmin telah meminta kerajaan menjelaskan urusjanji kerajaan mengenai perundingan dengan Todt bersama tunangnya Datuk Michelle Yeoh, seorang aktres Malaysia dengan mendakwa RM1 juta telah dibelanjakan untuk rakyat Perancis itu. Menteri berkenaan berkata RM1 juta di Eropah tidak mempunyai apa-apa nilai sekarang tatkala mempertahankan perlantikan Todt."


Wallauu
Aku tanak komen pasal Kerajaan-Todt-RM 1 juta
Tapi aku rasa tebakar ngan menteri tuu
Kot ye pun toksah la berlagak sangat
"RM1 juta tiada nilai di Eropah"
Kaver-kaver la sket.

Kecik atie dowh
Maybe pada dia sejuta tu sikit
Tapi cuba kasek kat aku
Macam-macam leyh wat ngan duit tu
Macam:-

1-Kawen. Aku tak perlu stick kat plan asal aku nak wat majlis kawen pas asar & kasik jamuan biskut tawar cicah teh o...ngan duit tu aku leyh la upgrade sket hidang Nasi Briyani Kambing ngan Air Lecekang. Pastu door gift aku kasik eskrem magnolia sorang satu. Deymm menteri ni, abah kau sejuta takde nilai.

2-Beli designer handbag, pastu kasik kat kawan-kawan. Datuk tau tak ramai membe saya pakai bag LV, Coach & Burberry? Tapi diorang tepaksa beli kat Bandung datuk. Mana nak cekau duit dowh kalo satu LV ori sama rege ngan sebijik motor. Kasik la sejuta tu kat saya bleyh saya pegi butik LV kat Starhill, rembat dalam 20-30 bijik.

3-Beli deodoren dalam 6-kotak pastu kasik free kat abang-abang Bangla Indon Vietnam (read: ketiak bau cam cakoi). Mesti datuk tak penah nek komuter pagi-pagi. Try la nek komuter, nak best kat stesen Bangi/Kajang/Petaling. Tapi datuk takyah mandi kalo nak nek komuter tue. Sebab pelancong-pelancong tu pun memang bau cam cakoi. Haram jadah sia-sia je sembur perfume. Try la tanya akak-akak yang nek komuter pepagi, mesti dia cakap membazir je dia beli CK For Her, tapi last-last dalam komuter bediri bawak ketiak abang bangla.

4-Ternak lembu & kambing. Walaupun saya takde padang ragut, tapi bleyh je bawak lembu kambing tu makan rumput kat stadium bukit jalil. Cam mana la muka Sir Alex Ferguson time Man Utd lawan Malaysia ujung bulan ni. Padang cam tempat ternak burung kasuari je. Marah la Uncle Alex. Dulu time Brazil, Arsenal & Chelsea datang Malaysia, takde plak diorang komen pasal mende len (cam sebab apa orang benci KaiJay etc), tapi pasal PADANG. Kalo public bising, mula-la engage consultant & contractor, lay surface baru, besar tu blanje...tapi pastu mende sama gak brulang.


Okla datuk
Saya sebenarnya merapu je ni
Tapi memang saya kecik ati bila datuk cakap
"Sejuta tiada nilai"
...Abah kau!!!

All good man is either married, gay or dead

...Finger cross ladies :p

Top reasons why ladies today are still single

1. The nice men are ugly.
2. The handsome men are not nice.
3. The handsome and nice men are gay.
4. The handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married.
5. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men, have No money.
6. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men with money think we are only after their money.
7. The handsome men without money are after our money.
8. The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat heterosexual, don't think we are beautiful enough.
9. The men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual, somewhat nice and have money, are cowards.
10.The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have some money and thank God are heterosexual, are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!!!!
11.The men, who never make the first move, automatically lose interest in us when we take the initiative.

NOW, WHO THE HELL UNDERSTANDS MEN?

Scene ini ditaja oleh National Geographic. Shooting dibuat di Pergunungan Brokeback.
"...aku da ngorat da awek tu aritu, tapi kena reject dowh. Hmm jom klua minum nak?"