Sunday, October 26

Saya tak gile kuasa macam dia.

“Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself, for if you don't believe in yourself, no one else will believe in you. Create your own life and then go out and live it.”
- Piano Lady Nancy

Aku kena admit confidence level masa lima nam tahun lepas memang macam haram ntah hape hape…owh time tu public speaking definitely was a big-NO-NO. Pegang je mic, faul. Terketar-ketar cam nervous nak ajak awek klua date tengok filem Ucop Haslam James Bond.

Tapi tu dulu la…lanie alhamdulillah setakat nak jadi Emcee majlis kawen tu Insya Allah bolehnya, nges nges. Tapi tu pun kalo kena paksa la, tadakla aku nak meng-sukarela-kan diri…gile kuasa ke happa. Kat Malaysia ni yang cam gile kuasa orang cakap KaiJay je – orang cakap lee, aku dengar jelaa, heeeee. Owh btw aku memang agak blur n nervous dengan awek-awek, sampai skang tak tau camna nak ajak diorang klua makan eskrem…tak pecaya leh tanya membe-membe baik aku, kan kan?

Okayh ada 2 benda yang kita leyh wat kalo nak up confidence level;

Karoke – seriusli mende ni banyak nolong aku weis. Lanie alhamdulillah dah tak takut pegang mic dah…dan karoke ni jugak bagus tuk release tension. Korang tak tau nak pilih lagu apa? Owh tadak masalah, korang join je membe-membe yang lain, lama-lama tau la lagu apa yang cam kena ngan suara sendiri padahal suara aku x sedap pun. Rule of thumb; lagu rock kapak memang tangkap leleyh dowh.

Baca buku – maksud aku bukanle buku Dek Cerdas aku pun ske baca btw, Doremon etc. Tapi cam buku Dale Carnegie (How to Stop Worrying and Start Living, How to Win Friends and Influence People), Robert Kiyosaki (Rich Dad Poor Dad) n Florence Littauer (Personality Plus).

…but for a motivated reader, I highly suggest you to read books by Neil Strauss e.g. The Game, but please consult your parents first.

Saturday, October 25

Mak - Saya mahu kawen...

Lokasi: Food Court, Ground Floor - Avenue K
Watak-watak: Aku, Ucop...n nasi ayam

Schan - Ucop, ngkao daa kawen kan dah nak jadi bapak budak daa...kasitau ah brapa aku kena ada, temasuk ngan hantaran, makan makan, photographer etc etc.
Ucop - 35 000 ringgit. Tu temasuk 10 000 tuk pindah rumah...almari sofa tilam katil lain la kalo ngkao nak tido atas toto siam.
Schan - Takpe ah Cop. Baik aku layyan nasek ayam ni. 35 000 abah kau? Macam nak beli Viva sebijik

Hasel siasatan...

Hantaran - minimum RM 10 000. Tapi belah-belah pantai timur kalo mak mertua sporting maybe leh dapat lam RM 6 000.

Jamuan - Assume RM 8 satu kepala, makan nasi briyani, ayam daging acar buah n sirap. Kalo jemputan dalam 500 orang, kos makan je lebeyh kurang RM 4 000.

Persalinan - Upah mak abang andam, n kos sewa baju pengantin dua tiga pasang...lainla kalo nak pakai baju raya tahun lepas...jimat kos apa.

Photographer - Tanak gamba blur/tak clear, kenala upah brother photographer...amek gamba satu hal, pastu nak kena edit laei kat photoshop. Kos ntuk 2 hari (nikah malam, sanding siang esoknya) RM 1 500.

Pelamin - nak style mcm mana? Kalo basic design, ada 2 kerusi, kain renda-renda mahu dalam RM 1 000. Kalo nak yang pelik-pelik skit cam kapal layar ke, hmm tambah la laei.

Door gift - Kalo jemputan dalam 500, pastu nak kasik tuala, sabun susu kambing, frame gamba etc senang citer RM 5 satu kepala...total dah RM 2 500.

DJ / Karoke - takkan la nak pasang radio keter kuat2 kan. Orang datang makan kena dihiburkan...dan wajib ada lagu rock kapak. Baru layan karok beb.

Kadi - lepas dah konpim tarekh nak akad nikah, kena la book kadi plak. Kalo nak nikah time musim cuti skolah, nam bulan sebelum tu dah kena book dah.

Kursus kawen - nak dapat sijil nikah, wajib pegi. Tak kira la korang score A plus plus masa SPM, anak ustaz ke, apa salahnya pegi blaja ilmu rumahtangga skali laei. Nak kawen ke tanak ni? Kalo nak haa jom pegi kursus kawen.

Kompang - Kalo nak grand laei, panggil team pancaragam skolah lama. Tapi dua dua still kena klua kos. Duit teh la kirenya.p

Logistik - melainkan kawen ngan anak jiran sebelah rumah, duit minyak, tol, servis keta, makan kat R&R nak kena di-consider gak. Kalo laki asal semenanjung, bini orang Sabah, ehehe, tahniah la kalo tak dapat tiket Zero Ringgit Malaysia Airlines.

Lain Lain - Kad jemputan, dulang hantaran, bunga pahar, bunga mangga, langsir, klambu, carpet etc etc. Mende2 ni la yang slalu wat kocek cam tebakar jeee. Huuuu.



My Dream Wedding

1. Pergi akad nikah kat masjid, lepas solat asar.
2. Jamuan kat pizza hut rumah, wat doa selamat, air teh bubur kacang.
3. Majlis Bersurai.

Hahaha, pastu mesti orang-orang kampung pakat anta aku g ospital tg rambutan...tapi ok apa, korang ni nak kawen, ke nak menunjuk :p.

p/s: kena start mnyimpan nak kawen ah pasnie...eh lupa lak, kos cincin gelang mas blum masuk laei tu :p


 

Sunday, October 12

If You Love Somebody...

I always thought the original saying was, "If you love somebody, Set her free; If she comes back, she's yours; If she doesn't, she never was...."


...If she comes back, she's yours



In which category do *you* fall? (aku tapau dari internet ni, huuu)

The New Versions
Pessimist
If you love somebody, Set her free ...
If she ever comes back, she's yours,
If she doesn't, well, as expected, she never was.

Optimist
If you love somebody, Set her free ...
Don't worry, she will come back.

Suspicious
If you love somebody, Set her free ...
If she ever comes back, ask her why.

Impatient
If you love somebody, Set her free ...
If she doesn't comes back within some time forget her.

Patient
If you love somebody, Set her free ...
If she doesn't come back, continue to wait until she comes back ...

Playful
If you love somebody, Set her free ...
* If she comes back, and if you love her still, set her free again,
repeat *

Vengeful
If you love somebody, Set her free...
If she doesn't come back,
Hunt her down and shoot her.

C++ Programmer
if(you-love(m_she)) m_she.free()
if(m_she == NULL)
m_she= new CShe;

Animal-Rights Activist
If you love somebody, Set her free...
In fact, all living creatures deserve to be free!!

Lawyers
If you love somebody, Set her free...
Clause 1a of Paragraph 13a-1 in the second amendment of the
Matrimonial Freedom Act clearly states that...

Bill Gates
If you love somebody, Set her free...
If she comes back, I think we can charge her for re-installation fees
and but tell her that she's also going to get an upgrade.

Biologist
If you love somebody, Set her free...
She'll evolve.

Statistician
If you love somebody, Set her free...
If she loves you, the probability of her coming back is high,
If she doesn't, your relation was improbable anyway.

Schwarzenegger's Fan
If you love somebody, Set her free...
SHE'LL BE BACK!

Overpossessive
If you love somebody don't set her free.

HR Specialist
If you love somebody set her free
By Offering her VRS and other benefits, then outsource her.

MBA
If you love somebody set her free...
instantaneously...and look for others simultaneously

Psychologist
If you love somebody set her free...
If she comes back, her super ego is dominant
If she doesn't come, back her id is supreme
If she doesn't go, she must be crazy.

Somnambulist
If you love somebody set her free...
If she comes back, it's a nightmare
If she doesn't, you must be dreaming.

Rhett Butler
If you love somebody set YOURSELF FREE
If she asks you why say you don't give a damn.

ERP Functional Expert
If you love somebody set her free...
If she comes back, map her into your system
If she doesn't, carry out a gap-fit analysis

Finance Expert
If you love somebody set her free...
If she comes back, its time to look fresh loans.
If she doesn't, write her off as an asset gone bad.

Marketing Expert
If you love somebody set her free...
If she comes back, she has brand loyalty
If she doesn't, reposition the brand in new markets.

Aidilfitri - raya jangan tak raya

Petaling Jaya - KL Sentral - LCCT - Kota Bharu - Jerteh

Cost Breakdown for Balik Kampung:

Petaling Jaya - KL Sentral: RM 1.00 (KTM Komuter)
KL Sentral - LCCT: RM 9.00 (Airport Coach; bas merah yang ada logo Man Utd)
LCCT - Kota Bharu: RM 160.00 (Airbus A320, Air Asia...inclusive of taxes and all those surcharges, so that Tony Fernandez could get extra Duet Raya)
Kota Bharu - Jerteh: RM 12.00

TOTAL: RM 182/way.

Raya oit jangan tak raya...kalo balik ngan kreta macam la aku ada kreta nak kena consider minyak, tol, caj nak servis kreta makanan (ntuk sesapa yang plan tanak pose, musafir la katakan...tu tak temasuk ngan jalan jam, maknanya kalo hari biasa maybe amek dalam 8 jam dari PJ ke Jerteh, musim raya ni maybe 15 jam lum sampai laei. Kat tol karak pun dah lebeyh 5 jam - aku dengar orang cakap la.


LCCT: ramai gile orang nak balik kampung...


Akak-akak pramugari lum suruh bratur, tapi orang dah start Q dekat aircraft entrance gate. Kalo nak potong Q kena la beli Xpress Boarding. $$$ laei maknanya. Banyak le duet raya Tony Fernandez.
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